fuji storm center (sans gekki san)

the  last  cold f ront before easter
rains on  the yard  sale , plans  for outdoor
dancing tonite,  a  bedful of daisy  sprouts.
we push the  limits of jigsaw puzzles
then play  power games so you'll know
my  meaning of  no.

thunder shot  keeps us  indoors
excusing  the lazy  pileup  of toys
in the  corner.  how i want to straighten
them up. how you can sit there doing
absolutely nothing with cartoons on the tv
how  i've given  up on  telling you how
 the failures of responsibility  metastisize
into future blooms.  you  sleep

with no dreams, play  drama  in video
alone i  thought we'd gotten cured of the sim
 but it's just another cave,  plato. chemistry's
quantum  biology, galaxies  flux


as  our  fingers  touch , spin  settles
into double ohs  and flows like mist 
over kenneback  mountain.
you worry about   mirrorirring  or the collarbone's
affect, broken on  opposite sides of a tone
the  yin  yang  in  our  eyes, the placement of  names
into lenses thereby removing fungibility
and the grouping of venn  diagrams designed
to create a cone of  similar spelling errors.

i worry about  do my legs  look good in this light
and is the mascara smeared again. those other  things
are  oedipal. really.   you like the way i stretch
the spasms out of  my  back. why not just go with that?

april is on its way

so, come  april my google  mail and my  blogger will change  formats.
i can't believe how  whiny i'm being  about this. so there'll be icons
and layouts and buttons  that i'm not used to. i'll  get used  to  it.
or  maybe i just need to find the  next big thing. but i won't.  i'm not
on the edge of the wave  anymore, my brains are  atrophied
so  someone  else will have  to the splattering.   maybe if i drive
on over to  sanford,  i can get that taken  care of. or  maybe
blogger  and i  will have to  part ways.
fuck
can't do that. half  my adult  life  and all my nymph  phase
are in  here, somewhere. ahh  blogger, you sucked me  in
and now you  change to a new improved  formula  which may i
remind  you  of new coke? hunnh?

quotidian happenings.

 which  is, in its  way,  good.
thai  for  dinner, then
 transplanting  more  daisies
justification for  watering
the sand. i guess  sunday
was  the cold snap before easter
dry  and windy,   cloudburst  quick
   the  hibiscus  droops
but the plumbago  still  looks fresh
it's  quiet in the  house  the baby
went  with daddy  so  daughter's  locked
in her  room. son's  sleeping off an  F in english
i think he has to pass this  class to walk 
across the stage but  i don't  know how
he's  going  to  pull it off. i  mostly didn't
think about the  beach or the  way the sun
struck  my arm from over the dune
or the surprise on  your face
 over  the way cockleburrs  bury themselves
like hidden lovers in the  sand
and  impale  the unwary  en  flagrante  delicto

beauty machine

we find them  on roxbury
in front of a club  or  walking
on rue de sachet or sunning 
on   lake louisa,  lean, lithe  angles
  in bright patches of sun  so we follow them
give  them a card.  it's  usually  enough
they're good for a  season or two
but  most of them  give it up
to eat again.


the machine is voracious
you wouldn't think machines
could  have  appetites  but  this one's
become  a god   we can't  conttol.

the girls  love it,  parties all night
the seen and  be  seen after the shoot
vomiting in the bathroom, thank  god
for attendants, i always leave them a  five

we give these  girls  a  good job
make them  look faabulous
glamour   ous, they get  to meet  celebs
it's fun  for  a season.  it's up  to them
 to make  something more  of it.
. use their brains to network.
sweetheart, christie brinkley  was  hot  
because she  was the girl next door , marketed.















*(((((
 

if you hadn't  saved me
i might have had an amy
winehouse life.

i  guess i can thank you  for that.


nah i wasn't that good.
wonder if i would have  even  tried.

you helped me  stay down
where i  belong, factory girl
like when stopped my car
on  the railroad  track
waitin for a train.

\\

it  never  came.

at work the  new  kid
comes up to me, sez
the girls were  sayin  how
they used to be good lookin wit
hot bodies  n  stuff  an they said
  you were too.
i give him a blank stare.
so i was just wondering  if you
uh,  like had  any proof
of that  maybe? i turn
away and begin  to  assemble
the next  piece. women
 who rely  on their looks
to make it in this  world  find it
a  losing game. his
college  boy smirk is  behind
  me,  but  he shuts up.
that's all i ask  from him. 




(*)


 five nine one hundred twelve  pounds.
size 7.  big  bones
i had a hard time keeping  a job.
i would've  eaten. i  truly would  have.
it  was the  poverty diet. this was in college.
no one almost discovered
 me then and any way i was  a sagging tower,
  ashamed  of  my  height.

it  set me apart  and my always  stupid  hair  cuts
 freckles, glasses  oh and .brains.  in a  word 
geek,  in one yearbook pic
i am clearly a guy.  wonder  what  happened
to those brains?  smoke  enough dope i guess.








(*(*(*




this
however
isnt pretty.










i come  home  from getting 79  dollars
worth  of groceries and lug  the cold stuff into
the  house.  start to put it away i was  gonna fix
jambalaya but the  dishes aren't  done and
there's  trash  all over the  counters because no  one
knows  where the  garbage  bags are  and  trash of course
on t he floor and the  cans got
dirty diapers and  recyclables mixed  cuz  no  one's
brought in the bin from the road  can  so i  put the stuff away
and  go into my room to check my  mail and chill out
take a  shower  before  i go deal  with the pile
of laundry on the  floor at the entry  and the rest of the groceries
because my son's  somewhere and  my daughter's  sleepin
and i  guess the  baby's takin a nap   at six  p.m.
even  though her bedtime's eight but she's not my  baby
so  i let em sleep. i'm in my room for  a while  but
 i dont  get  the  shower
cuz about the time  i'm ready to the baby is up
and my daughter walks her into the  room
which totally  fucks my  plans  because once that  girl
sees gramma we gotta  go thru a whole routine
and i love it but  i don't
 have  the energy  right now  to do that  and get the load
out  of the dryer and  throw  the wet ones in it
plus unload the rest of the groceries  cuz lord  knows
the daughter, hereinafter  referred to as  lazy bitch or  lb for short
certainly ain't gonna  do  any of that or  the  dishes  since  she been
home all day and ain't  done  em yet.  so i  say  come on baby
let's go  do those  dishes so gramma can  cook
    we start the  water  runnin and i'm dealin with the garbage
while  the baby plays in the sink  and that  reminds me
 i  gotta  clean up  the dogshit
 that lb's dog  left  on the living room  floor
sometime in the last  24  hours maybe while i was at the beach
yesterday i dunno i  didn't see it till
  i  walked by  this afternoon
with the sun shining thru the blinds
on this side of the house
it really  stands out among the    the  trash or maybe
i  just have a  habit of checkin there
ever  since lb  moved back home
so  i'm muttering as  i grab  the  toilet  paper
and bend  over  to  clean  it  up  cuz  really
  i don't even want a  fuckin  dog
and lb  says something  like i  let him out i dunno  what
but i  stop listening because it's not the point that  the dog shits
in the house it's  that she doesn't clean it  up
but i can't  seem to get that  thru her thick rationalizations
so  i stopped trying about three  months ago  and it's  been
relatively peaceful   because i remember how to  play the  slave
with a bipolar  bitch  but she  goes on and i say something
and  she  says  something
but  it's not  about thedog  now it's about groceries
and why she didn't  get more  than  the two things
i told her  about and  a bag of  potato  chips
when her brother took  her  shopping yesterday
and she says  he would only  take  her to winn dixie
not sav alot  and besides  both  our  tones are  getting out of  hand
and the  baby's in the  kitchen
and  i say  just  don't talk  to me  just  don't talk to  me
go outside to get the groceries and a breath
back inside she  begins to bitch about
what  i  do and do not buy
what how it's  all  junk meanwhile i'm  putting stuff
in the  counters and thinking  that's  exactly why
i want you  to  go spend your  food stamps
on things you want  to  eat  you  stupid fuck  but
i d on't  say  it cuz i have resolved  to  not reply to her
and she  don't  get it for about f ive minutes till i
go  into  my  room and slam the  door
then  walk  back out
 a minute  later with  jeans
for the load  i've started  and  talk  to her  baby
but not  to her then
 she shuts up for the most  part
with an occasional  snarky comment 
but since i'm not  talking  she  can't  get the  rebound
she craves.    later we try t o be  civil
and  she notices the groceries i bought  and  says yeah
i  should just  give you the food  stamps i  have
about 80 dollars  since you  always go
on the way from work.   she  recognises i  got 
   the stuff  she should have gotten yesterday
at the  grocery  store  when i  lined it   up
for her bro to  take her which  leads to me  going to  ask  him
to please go  to  sav a lot when his sister
 needs to  go  grocery shopping
to which he replies  but she didnt want  to go there
she  didn't want to go grocery shopping
so when i  look at her she's all like
i didn't feel  like it
then tried to twist  it  into
i  got  what you  asked me to  get  i don't
 know what to  get you always bitch
about what i  buy and i  tell her
 i thought i made it clear to you
that  you should buy things that y ou like to  cook
things  your  baby will eat.  i  have not  bitched about  what
you have  b ought w ith  your  food stamps i have not bitched  about it
I HAVE NOT SAID ONE FUCKIN WORD
about the potato  chips  and cheezit boxes the  cookies and ravioli
and steaks  i  do not know how  to cook those are your purchases
and you  can  do  what  the FUCK you  want to
with your  food stamps  bitch
and she's all  like why  do we have  to
  turn  this into an argument
and i'm  like   you're  right LB,  there is no argument
cuz   you,  LB  are full of shit
 so just  shut the fuck  up and i  k now she will
cuz that baby be sleepin
 and  she don't want me
 to wake  her up and  then she
 have  to deal with that

just

stop  the obsession
right  fucking now

suspicious activity on clayborn

two  fat  cops  pull   up next  to me
  it's about 11 oclock
suburban  night  i need cigs- license  is
suspended    so  i'm walkin  it's
about a mile . they  wanna know  what i'm  doin
where i'm  goin  from all the way  down there
it's only a  mile.
do u have  anything illegal or dangerous on  you
no only my cock  sir
do you mind if search you?
can't  we start out slower?  yes i  do  mind.   send  me   some flowers or something...jeeze
why do you mind  if you have  nothing illegal or  dangerous  on  you?
i'd  feel violated  by you  putting your hands  all  over me and  on my ballsack  for   no reason
 at all  unless walking
has suddenly  become illegal?


 

silver nanoparticles

 valent atoms, plantetary tides
venus mails   jupiter,says to  hide
till sundown with its sliver flocks
in ochre sky and knee deep clocks.

chemistry acts on  fools and  saints
just as well  as  wills  and  feints
to the left  or to the  right-
deliquesce  and  then comes night..

with  more time i'd  look at you
as if  you really  wanted to
journey to the  palest  seas
the ones without these  yous and mes

but  gaseous quick and ringtailed hot
combined into a melting pot
releases   on  the other  side
  micro pulses of a winged  hide.























**^^^^^







"if you're eating a dirt sandwhich
chances are you ordered it>


lesson, don't whine.  i talk more
to  myself  than to anyone around me
withdraw into being 
a bill  of fare  and jumping live shrimp
missed between the tines of  the  chopstix
who settle on a  pickle.

a former  life invades  this one
with a smith and western and  a  piece of rope.
i don't  call and don't call because i've learned
that the  fan dropped off the ceiling, just
twice this month, well this week, in fact  i  don't call
because there's  something  about crowding in the  air
    rended goodbyes   circle
above us,  land on the beach
the  flock cuddles with us
as clouds  cool  the  sun  
scrying and  scrawing .
i'm having  the  sake  so you'll k now
that you maybe  you don't want to  talk to someone who
 maybe you just
know too much about    now.

the  dallying of the  worchestershire
the  don't hesitate to phones.





























*( 


start  again


gulls on the beach  suddenly
all gathered around  the joint.
the  waves   come  in
the  waves   go  out
i throw the roach into the wind
the nearest  flies up and  catches it
  sets  the  flock
 in motion  and  goodbyes


a  field of hands through barbwire
in  a spotlight  obscuring  a machine.

a  paper  napkin folding
itself into the wind, amid
bottlecaps and leaves.
sand  scours the parking  lot.
many ghosts  pulse in and out
of the conversation.   but it's  with you

that i  walk, and you listen as
interminably i  do go on.


men  generally suck


taken aback. laugh ,
sage agreement.

 so  do women



 but we're supposed
 to so  :)

feminism  showed itself earlier in the  day
and  agreement  was reached,  power systems
may change their  stripes but never their teeth.


 people in general, suck


  the  banyan grows
next the sidewalk,  past  the fine arts
as  if just now invented for  you

why are they  here?
someone  planted  them






*(


google  mapping for a place to meet
you're heading  down ulmerton when  you see
a rod looking thing kind of pushing
into a cloud, not jettish  more, cigar ish
and it's  coming  out the other  side and  dissapearing
into the next  cloud  but  when  you  try     a screenshot save
you hit  delete instead   and spend the next twenty minutes
 searching till it's  time to go for the rendezvous  at panera.
she reminds you to find it  when she  calls
 because  that's something she can call you about
the fan fell off the ceiling and  the  wiring's exposed
but  all she can  do is write and that's not  right.






















*(*




please  do not scrutinize  this blog
  overmuch.  it contains
pieces of me falling into  nanoverse
tinted the  color of my  hair.




^^(^(^

How many characters0can i fit into the title bc cell is only access and i cant get into create. In ft meyers venus jupiter take walks ozoned into signs i half bleeve. U call whirl the sake in my head and we melt into destiny with a sigh

otarious ritual

dragon eyes in the west
    papersnakes  to the  moon ,opposed
   the sign sends  a jittery text
    explaining some  aspect of networking
while the  body  wraps the world and squeezes
   volcanos and  earthquakes  out of .her

gaia's  been a naughty girl.    the tides  say
post an ad . she  burns  through  response
with  reposte,  finds  a suitible host
for the night's engagement. falls  prey
to  an  osprey, she's caught, hot

   in a  high  place,  out of her  element
all nitrousy,  bubbly   and familiar.
 co2  awash,  her gills  lunge into  lungs

and  several  drum circles later
she  fucks the moon with only  
  the chemist  on  her mind






*()*












thus the  requisite  rules are followed.
scorpions  and  lions  both are apeased

she talks to the  hand.
 it  laughs at her.
she asks the tarot
who  roles her eyes
the planets council a  good  hour
so while  waiting
she  asks the logician
who  lays it  out in simple terms
even a  poet can understand.
you  want to know?
call the man.

the beach, in love

waves  come and  go   
deep into the hollow between
my cells i swallow
the quick caress   allowed
and quicker than being in me
you return to the sea
disappear into air
recurl cloud and refill me
with swallows all over  
the  thrust  of  your    body
i  inhale,    dense
 with  your  element   i  believe
 in solidity/ not a  single grain
   b lown  away in hurricane,
 but  a  shore,  an  island  ,a  continent
  sailing  in  chasms  carved
   by  you  filled  with you.



  

natalka helped me fix  it.  


  waves  come and  go   each
 a caress allowed 
 deep into  the hollows  between
my  cells, i  swallow
  you  as  quickly as i can  but you
move  quicker,    back to the sea.
  up into air. recursive  you  refill me. 
 differently  each time
the  thrust  of  your  wet  body
  inhaled  into interstices
  unaware of  being,  i am  dense
 with  your  element
believe in solidity/ am not a  single
   grain blown  away in hurricane,
 but  a  shore,  an  island  ,a  continent  sailing
in  chasms  carved   by  you
 filled  with you.

deranged

holdin on  to a job
where i want to  take a baseball bat
to the  fat  customers who  remind me
of my  dad,  still acting solopsistiscally
at advanced  middle aged, still
a  teen. it's the baseball  bat that makes me
psychotic.  not  the how of kowtow ,  a  bow to the 
  now what we  have  here  is a failure
to communicate, a failure to consume
this  reguritated  bloated  fate a stock boy
or a worker b, coporations drown    all equally
so how to  make it to the top without all the gaming  rot
get the key, shape of a gun, plug it  in, make them run.

misnomers

 getting  to know each other  ,
 looking for  non  existent sparks
such dates are doomed to fail.
 just, listen, go to this
motel  room i  rented, undress and get into bed.
turn the lights off, wait for me.
i'll be there doing to your body
what you  want done come
on let's be intimate
without letting all those quotidian
courtship rituals get in the way break
outside  your  box and fuck me like  an unpaid whore.