unknown umbilical

 ah who am i kidding i know about it

been tethered for years now 

sucking in lives that aren't mine

revel in the distaff wooly and flaxen

spin out yarns, clothing, blankets, family trees. 

i know about it. hand held , scroll by scroll

binding minutes to nooooooo action 

a mind faceted , reflective, refraction 

gleam in a flea's eye.  i know about it.

pumping life into the not ready yet

the half baked, the uncertain outcome.

sooner or later it shrivels or gets dropped

in a full washing machine with all the other dirtys.

then where are you? alone, searching for nourishment

maybe a podcast or movie on something bigger

than a notepad.  the taste of other lives lingers

black on white specters

paragraphs with wings

 sentences with brokens.

maybe i've been, maybe you've been or he's been

feeling maybe she's been feeling or maybe there's

something akin to a feeling.  billie eilish channels

the barbie in all of us. post covid pathologies 

on the warpath sung in ethereal teen. 

_  

cuz yeah, the incubator's out there providing

from who knows where. maybe teeth, 

maybe shrink a few inches here, girth a bit there.

maybe conjure it directly from unsatiated blood

through a series of recursive tubes that's 

 somehow  been keeping me alive or

thinking that i am  

i keep quiet as a 

moribund feotus, i don't\ have much to add

and besides, all options have split into opinions

no one cares about. i never vote. not even at 69 or 420

sometimes if i think i've got a unique facet i 

just keep reading till i find it already in print. 

the really outlandish ones are often as true as they are

false. i decide they all provide nutrition 

though the wedding cakes are a li'l too monotonous

and rarely sweet. 

(((

all this to say i cut it again. 

with water. a full load

now it's up to rice and time

or i gotta go back to the dealer

for some more.