Thursday, May 26, 2016

the atomic clock knows the time only because we told it when to begin

ever since we found out what
the decay rate is seconds
tick by measured precisely
but what has that to do with time?

here we constructed a space
for you to sleep. we fill it
 with sex and television 
you can forget about time
for a while. 

from the lunar new year
we wish you good dreams.

wake up wake up sleepy head
can't you see what time it is?
no you didn't just go to sleep 
you were in a coma

have a nother minute, it will be fine.


caught my eye
the decision on marijuana's DEA scheduling is comin up
the fda already handed down a recommendation
but in the end it comes down to one guy's decsion.
for chris sakes let's get hold of this man and make him see
democracy at work. 

 Russell Baer,is a special agent at the DEA's office of public affairs. Baer won't reveal what the recommendation was. The DEA will now conduct its own eight-factor analysis to study the drug's potential for abuse, the current state of medical and scientific knowledge, the history and pattern of abuse, and other considerations. Once that is complete, the DEA's administrator,chuck rosenberg, makes the final call.

er um chuck
can we talk? it's time to reschedulle this plant.
23 states have taken the liberty. a couple more
coming on board. there's
 already tons of literature
debunking the draconian
 studies used to keep this
source of wellness and contentment 
off the market.
 it's just good economics.
 instead of jailing users
tax em. save money/make money
 have you seen
 the stats in colorado,
potential for abuse? srsly, 
have drink, chuck
and think about the money
 coming in from 
testing companies,
 certification stations,
a privatized pipeline
  in place chuck be smart,
 be poised  for a big eco boom
it's cool,  chuck, it's dank
you know what to say.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

blank ette

well, i am feeling it, now it's been what
five days without my meds and i think
damn, i wish i had some.  i'd like to go
into the trance and be able to write about
this trip with some degree of poetics
but no, i am stuck in the quotidian
and alcohol is not the way for me to get
into the groove, girl you gotta prove
it was not all some blastastic anomaly
that everyonce in a while you were able
to make something that blew off the back of
well, at least, your own head.
course i never could tell which of them
would knock out someone else.

hmmm, i could critique. but i don't produce.
there's nothing i'd like to post, it's all so
blah. the lines i come up with seem
like someone else's.

for years i searched for non
attachment . but still i felt
too much- your pain, her pain,
his pain, our pain. then i got sciatica
so i began to rewire out of desperation
and now i can feel almost nothing.
everyonce in a while sadness, but joy
is so rare and i miss it.
the desire to desire is still desire
is what the zen masters might say
but what a weak desire this is.
no object to focus upon
no lows no highs.
a blank gray, like dc's spring skies.
what can you dream of when
you hold your main desire in your arms
while the sublimational desire
becomes too much work
so you shut it down.

i could dream of publishing

i could dream of writing a good poem again.

i could dream of a community of writers
that would spur each other on like we once had.

my whole body is weary, and it's from less
than the walking.

after a few days, visitors begin to stink
but i'm trying to stay out of their way.
i am thankful that d gave up his office
for me to sleep in, but that's not my room.
i was supposed to be at a museum today
or anywhere else but here.

so i called you to see if you'd like to meet up
but what i really wanted was some meds.
only 2 more days and i can get a refill so
it's ok that your girl is not into it. maybe also
you are not into it, but you won't say it.

it;s ok that life moves on around me
a swirling that is vivid stained glass
viewed from this blasted center.

i'm so close to tears now.
thinking how the rest of my life
could go. i'm so weary i begin
to understand the suicide
because if life is going to be this
until i die, i could die now
in your arms, my love
while we still do.


i must begin to make time
for this again. maybe
i could find that writer's group
and we could make magic again.
but what are the chances
a similar group of misfits would meet?
i believe we've already launched
that improbability drive.
i should do the work now.
work now.

but remember how i tried, the manuscript
that was like a movie you once watched
because it was neccesary to view that lesson
but you simply cannot watch it again.
or you want to take and cut snippets but .

so anyway. i should prolly do that work
and find some places to submit it.
shit that's coming up.
poems of floriday.
what do you say, tryit tryit and you may.

lol, the tarot card for the day is

the five of cups, loss.


so this reading is not the usual cross and circle
it's called esteres planetai meaning wandering star
the question is help me find my passion, oh please dear tarot.

the first card

is earth-where you are now

time for meditation is over dear high priestess-reversed
you have search, taken quiet time, regrouped
it is time to begin though you may feel
that you have been here for months
still the answer lies deep within
though you know you know it
 the high priestess indicates this is spiritual in nature

the second card
is moon- those things and people and experiences
which surround you now

is could be a spiritual subtext

the eight of pentacles implies great diligence and focus
you are alone in this task bcause it is your task
which requires diligence, knowledge and detail

the third card
is mars-those things in opposition

strength inverted can mean it's coming
or it just passed, this strength, that flows
through you . the symbol above your head is infinity
yes, you need it now, it will come to your aid
when you need it, though now you may feel
as if you are tapped out. another major arcana
card my love, this is spiritual journey.belief in yourself
be compassionate, be  patient, control softly
this is needed in your life.

card the fourth

jupiter-represents achievement, gain and expansion

which presents himself in the tower
a card of change and upheaval, surprise
revelation, release. your world shall change

card the fifth-inverted

sarturn assesses and judges and finds that you
are a king of wands whose light is either
just leaving or just about the begin.
since the question is help me find my passion
the answer is be creative, inspiring, forceful
charismatic and bold.

well of course, all these things are needed for passion.
stop giving in to the scorpion.
do not fear the bite you can overcome it.
plus, that scorp's grown enough
and his own journey to make.
and maybe he will not sting you this time
lol, where is the optimist card?

sixth card

mercury is all about the bizness of bizness
it moves fast you know, its silvery path around the sun

and you are seeing the four of cups-inverted
which person rejects the offer of friendship extended
rejects the world outside herself
but i really do reject business, the selling of self
apparently i should maybe stop focusing on this self
and join the rest of the world or maybe i'm so weary of self
that i should focus on the rest of the world.
no more lyric poetry, only poetry from stories outside.
hmmm. at least that's different...

card the seventh is about love and relationships.

you get the empress. you love, you are loved.
you are mother, you are gaia, you have this abundance
you can share and your spirit will lift and dont forget
you are loved, you love, your love is his love as our love.

and finally card 8, the sun's position
tells you of outcomes, success or failure
and in this reading you have found the card of death.

inverted. which means, according to my sensai,
influence coming into focus, or just passing out.

death means a door closes, it's transitional, one state to the next.
it means your opportunity is arriving to stop being this way,
so weary blase.

you have the skillz, you have the love,
why do you insist on some outside means of passion.
it is here within you, it's your spirit. time to transition
out of the money honey, put your energies to where
they will inspire you. or yeah, just stay stuck here
in this weakened line of non inspiration on pain.

oh yeah.  the choices could not be clearer.
now i have to sleep.

Thursday, May 19, 2016


k so yeah, it's like i'm tryin g to get a drink before the plane leaves but the server already has a tude so i prolly won't be able to get it. damn. i could use it. security stopped me . twice. the first time i read the rules wrong and packed full sized lotions in my carry on. i could throw them away or check the bag. i checked the bag. thank god i arrived 2 hours early because i had to spend ten minutes charging my phone since the boarding pass is online, then the second time through the gate the pass wouldn't scan. "that's funny, does it expire? " no, just lighten the screen some, please. so- out of line to do that because i really only have use of one hand since i'm carrying a huge ysl bag with very heavy neice/nephew presents (oh why didn't i pack them, and carry on clothes?} and yay! third time's charmed. so then i know the drill at security. empty your pockets, take off jewelry- yes that opal too- laptop in a seperate container, take off your shoes and step into the microwave. everything's going better this time but no, i'm stopped because of a groin anomaly. a what?! the female security officer says this means i have to pat you down. (i got waved in order to avoid full body i'm going to run my fingers inside your belt line, then pat you down around your groin area and all the way down the legs.
do you want to do this in private or is here ok.
ummm, private please. so wierd because i was through here a bit ago then had to go check my bag and i passed then...
well i have to get another female security officer here.
so she arrives and i explain how i passed not half an hour ago and she says well, can we scan her again.
i look hopefully at security guard 1.
oh can we please scan again, i mean maybe i'm sweating and got wet or even peed myself and that's why it's going off?
yes, let's scan again, harry, let this woman back in there. listen just pull up your pants tight and go bac in there.
yes, yay!

and i got the green light this time.

thank you so much for scanning me again anonymous security woman, i am green . the safe color.

Wednesday, May 04, 2016

soooo weed is legal sorta in dc

but i won't be bringing any, it's not legal
where i'm staying plus the hosts prefer not
even told me so, which sort of hurt me
because i know their business, and the law
so i would not endanger them thusly
but it's ok to have it all out in the open.

which makes me wonder if i'm the drunken uncle
i don't feel like one, but i guess the pudding tastes like it.


Monday, May 02, 2016

ten percent

burn dark carbon
diamond dots luminesce
banded in a watercress
around my gin and bourbon

 membrane  of mundane filters past
and future  are hard to not boil away
heat with care or find them one day
turnt to caramel and dialysis.

chew them up, spit them out
carboxolates. enjoy them!
they glow and spin , shine from within
dis-affected from a man made drought


there is a distance i've come
to be here away from you,
barely there, watching
motes slide through thick afternoons.

crows haunted my weekend
ending with a smashed baby
fallen from the nest, throat
bent back upon tail, legs trampled.

my granddaughter was with me.
i didn't point it out. earlier she'd
visited the duck nest near the road
found smashed eggs, shattered shells

despite this we went dancing
at several halls where people
spilled drinks on each other,
laughed it off. a woman jumped

so much her boob flopped out of her dress
i only noticed because it was me.
i only noticed because i was hanging on
to a man's arm and it wasn't yours.


i thought of you, of course
when the crow first came
in line at taco bell, it skirted
the menu board beside my window

a cheeto as grail, a missing girl,
boxes of shoes fall out of a nineteen
seventy seven red gremlin
as the deja vu takes over
and rolls me to the drive up
for tacos. the crow flies
from a tree,makes  three
on a  power wire slashed
 into the pinking sky.

i ate the taco. movement
makes the best eraser.
 and though the next day the crows
are back, i just write them into
poems, make them legends, draw them
black with a sharpie enthroned--
king of the basketball hoops.


of coure we see pictures in stars
and lines of text. we carve them
into cave walls and paint them on trains.

the sort of i am here faint finger touch
on my thigh as i edit, the sense that you're just
waiting for me to finish so you can
move on with your life, nourished.


there's always so much more to say
but it's just the way the mist from the hose
waters the seedlings with chlorine. it's just the slip
of your finger from my calf
as we slip into sleep, that dreams may come.


ten minutes

i'm dressed, plants watered,bed
not made but empty, so i could write
for ten. but what am doing ? listing.

it's just that i've become numb
there's little that makes me passionate
is that age's gift to us?
i mean in less than 3 weeks
i'll be in d.c. but at this point
i'm not even sure why i'm going\

i mean there's the museums
government doing government things
and i could watch.
i used to care but now it's so fucked
i just can't anymore. people are stupid
a billionaire running for pres, not just
any billionaire but a full sociopath
with a phd in narcissism
is a major party nominee
which should mean the system is broken
but he'll probably win instead.
because the american people are dumb fucks.
that's all i can think of when i hear why
they would have him be king.

friend 1:
voting for HIM because she knows
the other candidate left them people there
to die

friend 2: "thank god for medicaid -
or i'd be dead today".

"so would you vote
liberal after all?"

"this is why we're such good frenz
we agree to disagree"

friend 3: brother in law dependent on medicaid.
great niece gets food stamps.
business is doing quite well working
for a military contractor
but welfare is evil. probably would prefer
the other snake in the grass who makes
no bones about his xtian agenda.

that's just three. if i quizzed them all
i'm pretty sure even the ones i thought
were reasonable have this fever for outsider status.

helli guess that's ten, it's what the red clock's cooking up.
looking up.

on to work, contributing the greater good through economy.

: (

wow, i just realized winston.
you're just a metaphor for aging.