feather mask on the bookshelf

each day i'm here the mess
grows thicker. unpacking
just adds to it. i've got
lingerie strewn across
my floor which hasn't been
vacuumed in a couple weeks.
well, since i moved in.

today, this morning
i am going to be late
for work. i had to dry
son's gym uniform
whcih would have been easy
but it was sitting in
water, an entire machine full
which i forgot to spin out
last nite which put me in a spin
and it took 10 minutes fro the cycle
to finish so then i had to look
at that 10 minutes and know i'd
never make it to work in time
to call him to wake him up to catch
the bus so if i went i'd just have
to turn around and come back
to take him to school anyway.
plus it was raining already.
i hope there isn't a cane out there
but i heard there might be.
anyway, his science notebook needs
signing and he forgot it so maybe this way
he can get it from the locker and etc.

all this stupid signing
what the fuck are teacher thinking
plus this one teacher told him
she took conduct points
for writing on skin!
scuze me

man i know i didn't want him going
to the boom boom skool but this
is like the babysitter skool.
how can a kid be responsible for self
if the parent is always
ALWAYS checkin up on his work.
i don't agree with it.
you work on your grade, you earn it
THEN i as mom reward or punish.
i dunno, micromanagers
never let people grow. i mean look
at topiary.














*


so i got a few spare, thot i'd dare to check
out my psyche. i hope this small tear we got
goin won't last. plagairism is one thing
but riffin is quite another. you hurt me
i hurt you but it wasn't a huge entity
so let's just forget the whole thing, k?
i mean, forget about it, but remember it.
your latest song is awesome.
i wish i thought in circles like that
but it wouldn't be the same
and why do i need ot write songs?














*

hmmmm
the irs wants a my signature
or i won't be a ble to efile anymore.



















*


almost delinquent on the teco again.
i wonder what else i forgot to pay.
that bass is sposed to be shipping
today. i wonder where i'll pick it up
and how the shipping place will contact me.
i still am having thankyous
and blessyous for the price on it.
i hope it will last. it's a beautiful instrument.
looks like the one son played last year.
the one we cracked, all of us them
by wresting, me by trying to reseat the bridge
without loosening the strings. god
that was a dumb move. if he gives up the bass
i'll donate this one to pierce.
what a boom boom skool.
i am ashamed of what we let pass off
in this system.














*



sound judgement
and a microcaustic caught speiling
in he drafty sycamore.
why i don't have a million idents
is because ummm, that's way too much
to keep up with.

o i remember i wanted to wiki
thomas wolfe.
like calvin, i enjoy verbing nouns.

sad in your retrospect

if i were dreaming
if i ever dreamed
or remembered

that i dream i would dream
fractals like his hands
recursed each morning
pushing against windows

and renegade colors oh
black of the eye
lashes, white as a scream.














()











she wastrels the last drops of day
after a confrere, a consideration
of which lines she can leave blank
and which she must fill in. must.
for the list grows more empty
the futher into time she gets:
yes, the big things too begin
to shrink, like smooth skin
over a scar or the blocks of hard
pan scored in her thighs. her
measurements are never concise
enough for a micrometer's date
but she can fake the last four
decimal places and leave on time tonite.












**(

and oh the rain over the cabana
at the end of honeymoon island.
you remember when we never went here
but the plum of the thunder
followed us anyway, me, refusing to let you
go this way: you refusing



()()





and it's not that his hands are less
than what i offered you. it's just
that i'm the one who must receive
over and over and sometimes i feel
as if i were already burst

compendium of accents

i'm tired. repeat. tired.
and the 2ybf doens['t help
as suspected he is no more
no less messy here than at
the apt from hell. and now
i've got to keep this place
or i'll go insane. up. i mean
up. insane b/c i'm tired.
tired because there's too much
to do. i should be excited
but i'm not. just tired. i wonder
if i have a disease. i need another
two weeks off. maybe i'll take another
four day weekend next week.

i just got this place set up
and daughter calls. i need to call her
back and let her know it's ok to come home.
of course but she can't despair.
i can't deal with despair.
i bet this is why i'm so tired.
it's sisyphian this life.
jumped on indiana cuz he's
whining. jumped on no one else
maybe only cuz he jumped on paul.
then jumped on 2ybf for whining.
i dunno why he won't just accept
that this is life. yes i do-- cuz really
it IS unacceptable. that's what
she says my girl, and that's what
i know but how to break out of it.
i'd go to sleep in a minute. a
second. son needs a shower.



i said i'm getting a headache
from all this testosterone
then they say i'm getting one
from all the estrogen. implying
women more bitchy.

bee pollen formed into little verbs

well, this will do i suppose
i miss the blonde chair you left me
but it's needed out in the living room
so, i'll use this couch i bought.
paid money for. as in cash.i have an office
now, as i did before i moved out on the ex.
i do yard work now. edging. weeding.
mowing of grass. i live in a quiet
neighborhood again. it came to a choice
of either this or the ghetto. coulda been
this and the ghetto. three lakes mhp.
i dunno. i feel guilty for moving back
to what passes for middle class now.
but i don't need to worry after all.
it's comin down it's comin down.
i think my art has died.

i stole this title from jack.
the beast line of this piece and i
stole it. i was glad to see him writing.
mine's like a dribble. i'm lost
without poetry to remind me.
lost in this palsied land o the burn
burn burbs. i leave a candle on
in the bathroom. waiting for a horror
story on the news. my own.


the power wants to say if this is the best
you can do, kill yourself. i say to it fuck u.
i mean it. fuck u. perhaps this is the best
i'm capable of at this point. energy depletion
of the hydrogen cells has caused my maneuvering
capabilities to falter. the ships goin down.
even my lover is tamed. tamed my lover. tamed.

his hair a black garden, undergrowther outer,
a cycle and a half to get to work. no sharp
bothering spurs to man him.
do you have it good
or am i just a pocket
you wanted to see.

there is an incompleteness on the spiral.
circle is not spiral. are u reading still?
the trepan experiment a lost traveler extant.
there are websites i don't go to often.
they are rabbity good. peter and his pankins.
i need a smoke. i always needa smoke.
sagebrush and melody.
spoon me river, forgive her
a latent belly in the sluice.


*

she calls again, she's breaking up
and nothing matters but this
love she cannot please.
i don't care where i go she cries
sleep under the bridge become
a crack whore. nothing
there's nothing worth living for
i want to make someone
happy but i just can't i've
tried and tired so tired
of it all. i know she needs
someone who loves her.
who is not her mother.
not her father not her
brother not a friend she needs
a lover. i can't help her
i don't know what to say
i'm struck dumb by the sameness
of the response, each time
the sweet is there to grab
and what do we pick? the rottenest.
the cottonest.

my eternal editor injects
biting sarcasm at the pace
the syntax of my wiring.
this writing thing is not
for the meek of heart
and mine is getting more
slavish daily.


the question is do i want sex
or do i wnt to continue this drivel.
sex would be nice.
that's what she said too
but it wasn't the right week.
too bad it's anniversary time.
leo. the ruler. mars in retrograde
and jupiter visible above the moon
in some parts of texas. heavy
metallic guitar melting from the speakers.
gas wavers above the pavement
making shadows in the setting sun.
she wants to end something.
there's a little bird
on a fencepost. she sights the laser,
pulls the trigger.


the inertial editor lets that one slide.
he uses no tools, makes no cuts
or suggestions. he's the filler. the thrilla
a manilla. and some kind of machine chop
coffee shop. ok, picnics for everyone!
nite.