when the sky turned black
jimmie and me were out in the cornfield
fixing damage from the twister
a couple days ago. we'd been at it since
before sunup, trying to upright the last of the tender plants
still alive . the storm had just yanked them up,
little fistfulls of hair, from the earth
tossed them aside like a disdainful mother.
. they lay in patches
all around the 5 acres jimmy and i planted
roots exposed, dying.
when the wind first sprang up
i sighed with joy under my big straw hat.
it's been so hot jimmy, i said, just feel that breeze.
he straightened up, stretched looked over his shoulder
then slowly turned his head every direction.
yeah. he said and bent to the ground.
i knew he was thinking of twisters .
goddamn corn i thought. went back to replanting.
if we could save half of this, we could wouldn't have to buy
feed or tortillas all winter. maize. the gift from the plains.
every spring we gave back a gift in hopes she would spare
her anger. too often, these gifts didn't please. though she never
let us starve. just hungry. all the time. even in summer
when the eggs were plenty, we pickled half, sold half
for protein during the dry season, the cold season, the inevitable
storm season. thing is, when you work the fields
you have plenty of time to think, but no energy.
jimmie was afraid of twisters. i dont' like them
but you can see them coming mostly and the cellar's
pretty sturdy. even got a hollow shelter five minutes run
along every acre. it's the straight line stroms that scare me.
the way the wind whips like a razor, a blizzard kinfe. it rips
thinks to shtreds. the lightning touches things and they burst into flame.
even cellar doors. my friend ruth got burnt in her own cellar three
summers ago. it started from an arc lighting that caught the metal
handle on her doors. i made jimmie put wooden ones on ours
that very summer. lighting scares me. i don't know
why but sometimes i feel like it's chasing me, or that i call it
when i stand on the edge of the fields at dusk
watch the big heavy clouds flashing in the distance
catch the wind in my outstretched arms.
i don't let jimmie see me do this. he already thinks i'm crazy enough.
it's why he wants me to keep takin the pills
even though they give me headaches so bad i sometimes have
to lie down for half the afternoon in a black room
while streaks of pain slam around
through my head in zig zag patterns
till i can corral them all in one spot
where they jump and stamp , snort, toss across
my eyes till they are one single burning white mass.
that's when i open the gate. they stampede out of me
while i pass out in one blinding shot of darkness
