so the oceans are burning

 and this iis the state of my machine

chip on the left front corner

keyboard mouse inactive

no screen sensors engaged i saw

the cable for that peeking from under

the glass.

saying it outloud

still doesn't bring a reality

i mean he says it's always been 

end times,  i counter but now

science backs it up. life as we

is about to be severely strangled life

as we is about to include so many diatoms

whose stories will  not be

 remembered at the bottom of a toxic sludge .

 blades. grass.

this is mortality. the coil. shuffling.

pardon me while i turn into 

*

looking from the outside i never see

myself. this old woman in a black trapezoid

summer dress, underarm skin wrinking in the sun

gray streaks in her hair, filling a gas can 

at the citgo on sheldon.  i only know i got

two notices about my yards, one in z hills

and one in t town, needed some attention.

if i weed today they may look good by friday.

so this week it's yard work in the heat wave. 

today's overcast though. i should take advantage

of it. and i do.

*

by now you're an hour into 

visiting time. once a week.

i'm so tired i just want a week

end alone.  with you. though

when we had it we still didn't .

*

i need mulch and gas. 

the trailer park don't like

my flower bed. mostly empty

because drought has stricken

this side of town. weeks since

steady rain, unrelenting sun

at the height of solar cycle

el nino for the fourth straight year

i fear the spindly elm 

in the front yard may not make it

sooner than the rest of this.

it's so hot my wrists sweat

on the keypad. a steady wind

blows from the southeast promising

clouds over head, promising

but similar to men i've known, not delivering.

for instance we finally clean

the potato hole, acoustic drums

all set up, electronic

drums still in the boxes they were

delivered in. 

suddenly you find your dream drums.

gone the promise of a dishwasher gone

the floors we could have installed

on my vacation gone paying down 

the card. if i have a card

 you could use

and i don't

let you

you will not forgive me.

for real. you said this but

you have a card. you got credit.

you have drums to sell you have 

baseball memorobilia  you

have means.if they're so important

to you then by all means, get them.

but not with my credit. my future. my time.

#

the teen next door wants to be

on american idol she wants

to sing but as yet, she cannot.

the passion is there. the ear, not so much

plus i'm pretty sure she's got headphones

so she can't even hear herself.

but maybe i'm just projecting cuz my teen

wanted to be a singer but didn't have 

the courage. 

year 4 with the ex: working a taco shop

washing dishes at close. big greasy steam tray

pans full of beans and lettuce. i practice

work song by maria muldaur,

walking one and only in the back

hot water to elbows belting

back stroke bending 

digging holes to plant the seeds

the owners ate the cane 

and the workers ate the weeds.

long hard climb to the top baby i knew

back then i didn't have a chance 

i just didn't want to starve again.

so i sang. for the pleasure for the escape

with an unvoiced dream. little mermaid

choosing to lose her tongue. 

maybe that's what she's doing.

i know that's why i write. 

so if i don't get the pleasure

of exercising fingers on the keys

it's just not a poem. 

voice to text don't work for me.

i want to sprawl out

then move on.

()()()()()

free fish stew on the gulf of mexico beaches.

()()

hasn't been the same since the plankton die off 

last year. i don't think they're measuring this year.

antartica shrinks as we breathe.  my ac runs constantly.

*

all the words have been thrown out there

all the please and pleas and paint on the mona lisa

cannot put this together again. catastrophe's deluge

gonna happen. thought it would be safe

in the middle of the country but she knows 

how to set a fire anywhere . she's done.

been showing us what she means for 20 years

and now  she says counseling is useless

she wants a divorce. she's gonna go scorched earth.