stupid

well she idd it again
totally took advantage of the situation
of my trust.

why do i keep trusting her
as if one day
she will suddenly go bing
and get better. but she won't
not even with her confessions
and talking about her inmost joys


as if i don't know when she steals from me

it's a good thing i don't keep actual
money around. i hope she gets a job soon
then she won't steal as much.

i am not gonna say she won't steal.
it took me a long time to understand
that working for what you get
makes it sweeter. and i still want that
instant gratification but
i understand that in this economy
when you take from someone else
then you damage them. trust is bent
if not broken. sometimes i guess
i just want to believe in her but
she fucks me over almost everytime.

i will be glad when i can tell her
to take care of all of it herself.

she has no conscience where i'm concerned.//

i want to call justin and ask him
if he really wants to spend the extra 60 bux.
i should stay home tonite and then
go see him early saturday. but i don't do
early very well...
//

i think this is the some point
where parents let their children just



go


it's like ok, i've taught you best i can
go find your own worms li'l wing.


and what have i taught her?
based on the results
she learned all that she needed
to learn. pilfer, lie, cheat.
i know somehow under that she has

i don't know anything.


really , of how she will be
of what her conscience will be allowed
to tell her. it's all so fucked up.
why does anyone become a parent.
you always fux your kid up.

unless of course, they understand
that you love them. but love should not
have to mean putting up with abuse.



i think at least i've learned that much?
no, i haven't. i'm still a fool.