dusk

it's been a hella day
y is human interaction so difficult?
some days you can't say one thing
without being jumped upon.
me n virgo
me n scorpio
ug
me n aquarius still good.
course that could be cuz he's still a kid
not adult. hell. i wish i wasn't so
scattered. could accomplish something
begin and finish it.
now the sun's down again
i'm back to watching last rays
and end of days. unfinished sonotas
what i hate about aging is how tired i get
after the sun goes down. time for a li'l nappy.
only the very young understand.

i almost got the room clean.
almost got the bathroom clean
almost finished a poem, a letter
a bastion of brittle drivel.

this is the bitch about it blog.
or not. i mean i'm feeling pretty tranquil
but earlier it's just so much bullshit to get thru.
now i'm worn as the summer sky, washed
out faded ripped blue jeans, the tide leaching.
the lights of the towers come up. my children
cough and cough. dry as winter stuff
unproductive. like my life. i only want
a continued excuse to sit here
so i light another ciggie.

no one wants to talk to one another.
it's why we've gone into our houses.
we're writing for some future that may
turn us into emilies. vindicated
from mediocrity by history. a pessoa
peeling a navel orange, without a care.
yay! it's ok. i'm just as guilty.
the core of explore just my own li'l door.


so i began a fight with justin today
over cleaning. or he began it with me
i can't tell wich and it dosnt'really
matter does it. i can't live with the mess
he makes around me. his fingers are always
smudging the walls he dumps his ashes
everywhere, our room is filled with his
used glasses and roaches and stuff.
his shaving stuff is all over the small sink
i trip on his clothes. wtf. it's like
living with myself only worse
cuz it's like he doesn't ever clean
unless i tell him to and when the fuck
did i become the keeper of the house
oh yeah
i'm the mom.
jesus.


i hate that. so i've been after him
to clean up his dishes when he cooks for
himself only. and also his other messes.
just him. not mine. he resists. i get pissed
he alwys has a justification. but it ain't fly
just now he calls me says he was sposed to be in
at 430 not 4. so i'm wrong about
everything else. smile. yeah. ok

then get this i say
well since your'e the way you are
and i'm the way i am, not wanting
to ask, just wanting you to do it
you should try to daily ask me
is there anything you want done?
and he says ok i 'll try
and walks away! o good beginning.

then when he does ask, in answer to my silnce
then my you just don't get its
well of course i have something in mind
duh he gets all greeky mean
freaky dean. well ima go make tacos now