open mic

 why i didn't go last nite

when i got home from work, i'd left early

because my rhoids were raging, i ran

to the toilet and let go. when i got up

there was blood everywhere, beads of blood

over the toilet seat, down the side of the cupboard

dripping on the floor from my ass. ii mean i'm a woman,

i'm used to blood flow from nether regions but damn i 

had my uterus removed  10 years ago so this

should not be a thing. 

my honey went to eye doc because he has floaters

a natural consequence of age he was told but they

made a followup and just before the visit he was 

complaining of his latest floater , huge , and how 

it bothered him so much but then it just went away and the docs

who could usually see the things couldn't find it so

they decided he needs to see an optic nerve specialist

and walked out to the nurses station to schedule it

as soon as possible.. the. doctor. made sure it was

scheduled. as soon as possible.

when i went to the gastro doc for an overdue 

colonoscopy the doc clearly saw and recorded 

the  outer and inner rhoids i have, and labeled them

acute. 

on the followup they ask how i'm doing and i say

it feels like there is an iron poker up my ass about

75% if the time. when can i get surgery, this is a 10 pain.

we don't do that, they tell me. can i get a referral? hadda ask

three times. finally they tell me, ok, someone will call you

and schedule a visit. two weeks later, on my day off, i call

them. get an appointment for the last working day of this year. 

two months out.  

my honey is male. i am female. we go to the same medical group.

connect those dots.