Thursday, May 02, 2019

after all, the poetry

after all, the poetry said,
you carry me in you. you let me out in other ways
like all those reddit sotries yo're reading
incels, sjws, these are your chidren of the web.

i read a story of a woman coerced into having a baby
by 5 oeople who agreed to let her be the incubator, the surrogate
for a child the father intended to raise as his own, she was allowed
give her rights to the child up. twelve years later he contacts her
divorcing, the child wants to know of her bio-mom. this woman
had ptsd and therapy for years and wants no contact, wants to cut
contact with her parents should they have a relationship with this child.
and the comments my god what hast thou done to us, what feral virus
leaks into the world. i thot you burnt gomorrah to the ground
but fire is not as cleansing as you'd hoped. 
judgement upon judgement because this woman had sex that led
to fertilisation. perhaps plan b was unavailable, perhaps someone poked
holes in the condoms perhaps the pregnancy took
as pregnancies do.

outside a thunderstorm drifts slow.   at the  bottom of
towers of cumulo nimbus stacks
power buzzes. my friend says there are less
than fifty days left on earth because easter til
the time of ascent was fifty days.pentacost. i did not know that
perhaps she has aligned herself with sanke charmers
speaking in a tongue that says she is  second
coming. a crow lands on the lite pole cleans itself
  the wan grey sky breaks with a lightning bolt battery low
i leave for a charger, return to empty pole, flashing skies
like the old kodaks no, like the anti red eye feature
on today's modern machine. a strobe
a rumble. someone's taking a selfie. she can call them angels
if she likes. it's not all the comments i mean
the sub was am i the asshole
so she's aware her actions are discussable.
i believe the overall support says she's not an asshole. i agree. even if
she can't bring herself to write a note to the girl. i mean,
the grands can do that, explaining their role in the fiasco
the dad can do that, explaining promises he made to the surrogate,
there is no reason she has to face the consequences of sex.
because sex didn't cause this. moral judgement and selfishness did.
we have safe ways to terminate unwanted pregnancies.
everyone sux here because
everybody sux here , they began to say  one supernasty long stream of it.
because she hasn't changed her mind.
she wants no contact. let daddy and daddy's rents tell the story
hell let her rents in on it too if they want.
she's in a good place to let them all go
she was a n incubator, what does the child expect
to find in the cage that is her heart. i said that
for effect. i say that because that's what they told her
how she's cold for saying she'd go back and abort
because of the way the pregnancy, labor and delivery affected her.
maybe she's  supreme whiner with a pewdie pie fingernail
pain tolerance but rest assured she suffered. if her heart's a cage
they locked her there. she gave them what they wanted and they
  won't do the same for her.  the question becomes what
does one owe another human? not a human

you brought into this world. but a human. we are all here
by an accident of desire. if not your rents, then the ones before. it's very recent
this idea of planned parenthood. but surrogacy? old timer stuff honey.
conceptions that were at best inauspicious? let us find a home for this. mommy's
running out on their families? oh jah and da and yes and this was never
family. she was less than paid for this. she was an un witting unwilling
volunteer, but she didn't sign up for life just because she had sex and a baby.
just checkin with goodbye daddies out there, amirite?


Blogger Hector the Crow said...

this caught my attention - i got sucked into reading it, it's sad that i was better in many ways, in the past, much better reader, enthusiast even for what people i sorta know in some weird kinda way, were writing, contemporaneously, it's a miracle when i manage it these days, what a dark turn into self-absorption and self-loathing narcissism - i liked a lot of those references you used, and how you used them - youtube gargoyles, boiled in the soup - there's still a lot you can do with a kind of pastiche of recently coined concepts - wish i could be bothered to be anything but vague. I'm losing myself these days, don't know if I ever make much sense worth making anymore, or it's just increasingly meaningless verbiage in every iteration for the sake of it. This post, too, it made me think in some ways I wouldn't otherwise, about procreation, of course, I can't say anything worth saying about it at the moment.

4:14 AM  

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