pressurized vessel

there's new meds on the bed
i gotta read the side effects before i take em
that can't be my body with these problems
insurance and heart gotta be  breakin 
maybe i should should call em
and save some dollars, my long time steady
wanna raise it like roller coasting on the incline
waiting for the big drop, i gotta stop
givin em my money. last month

i suggested umbrellas because april likes her showers
and this place is full of em but they won't cover
the aflak ness of my needs,
get on the insurnance ride to save a life
that might be meh
not worth the effort, speaking species.

i mean i guess it's all in the living, and maybe my stamina will return
any way i've worked all these fifty years i think i've earned a medical reprieve.
but let's be real, i won't stop smokin, so if that's a condition let's just end this
right here. i mean the last big adventure is the one we've been sold
if i believed  , i'd love to walk those streets of gold. i've not seen
most of the world, and i can't afford to now. i wasted my youth
staying put, staying proud. no one's really come back, despite the tales.
you don't cross over and bear witness to tell. you're gone, ya know
so there's that waiting near.

i met sandy, a performer, who thought much of herself
i wish i'd ever had her confidence in this cracked shell
she lived more life than i'll ever, but i'll mourn her never
instead try to strive for the places revealed in her death
in her life, the memores a theme in the night.












***\

bleh, it's april, poetry month
i am on a sabbatical
until my health is better
because it's all i can think of.
it's my news. but you don't have
there
don't you feel better now?