soft landing

way before she knew about it
way before the last water covered
the ashes of her life way before that
time began and ended on a sour note.
a girl with a curl in her forehead.






















( begin again





after fucking as they cuddle
image droplets gather, ladled
with dusty sunset neons
 beckoning from sleep's warm grip.
so many good poems burgeoing
beg to be realised
 but his arms

and she promised herself
if she ever saw
the light again

right on cue, a cough releases them.
he turns over,murmurs i love you.
she grabs the keyboard gets hit
with a blank white page
and a vague desire to recreate diamonds
from miniature white christmas lights
and the insides of chandeliers.




















()()()(



it's past time, she whispered
for the format to change.
how many times into the ptsd corral
will you go. it's like that song 
you all wished you wrote
untl you realised it comes with some
pretty potent gunslinging.

^^^^^






then we got stuck with the underlying clauses
the everything-bytes-today 
the insurannce that didn't
and suddenly being a doctor or being a tech
didn't matter, it was clear who owned who.










**













so the right keys got punched
and i found myself in this position
nude, on the floor wiping up water
from a broken glass knocked over
by you left there by me FUCK you scream
and this place is such a mess i gotta go
because somehow if i cleaned it up
it's like it didn't happen like the red candle
i put on the speaker  didn't run in gore
patterns down the white
 wall it was  mounted on, christmas
dinner with the family, in our new house
kids all red velvet shiny, dog in her house
white tile spotless but that was so long
ago and you are a different man, taller
with blue eyes, a different
woman threw plates at you, turned bitter
in the soil of love some different kinda
crazy makes you crave flight
but say go. say go and mean nothing is worth
the staying and if you don't mean
leaving me, still it would be leaving me.
and it feels like that time
under the stars with the ocean murmuring
don't ever leave me. and i didn't.
we can call it an exorcism or karma
 how quickly
nothing brought you back.