white of her eye

i put all the spices in large container,
pack that into a small cubby in the prius
cargo area. underneath is full: cans of beans
and tuna, one bag of beef jerky,salsa verde,
 things to make canned palatable
though if the storm's half of what's been
promised  we shall prolly be grateful for anything
at the end of long hard day. lots of tortillas. not
for nothing we live in town and cuba. you
are already spazzing out, it's almost time
for me to knock you upside the head. look,
we only have 1 1/2 bags of charcoal
and some of that should be saved to filter water
which we still haven't got enough of for five now-since
the addition of neighborhood stoner and his cat-
people and five cats holing up in a non evac one bedroom
off sunset point road. it's on the smaller spine of pinellas
and made of concrete brick. we can go in the bedroom
closet if tornadoes arise, duck and cover.
it's not forecast to flood unless noah resurrects.
but it might be high tide when the winds roll in.

the national weather service has finally issued a warning
all emergency urgent tho the eye's only in cuba,
 still a day and a half out but oh
she's coming. i grab the carved tahitian box
grampa brought back from ww2, with a necklace of shells
crafted on some pacific island nestled inside. the rose painted
vase of gramma's. toothpaste and pictures a bottle of chanel.
we only have 12 miles to drive and it's the wrong way.
ok, 15 if the upper bay bridge's out. we can get there by land. none of it
over water. beware the sailor and cross.i make a prayer
with the broom in the kitchen, sweeping out the day's dirt
sweeping to the west all this mess, sweep it out
but not to be rude, don't mention her name.

if we come through this, i may sell the carton of smokes
one cigarette at time to the true addicts.
or i may keep smoking. it's hard to say .
i may not be able to sell anything since i don't have a gun.
won't get one either. there are ways, my friends, that
don't involve munitions. i hope .

there is a box of christmas toys i purchased on sale
a month ago for lili. it's quite large but there are spaces
between the boxes where i stuff all of my sandals. some
toiletries for later. i live in a cracker jack box. the storm
is category five. i just read up on charley, remember him?
fast and furious, cat 4, tore up aracadia and towns all along
the peace river. we were stuck on the first floor.

you took my son out at 3 am for a walk. i don't know
where my head was at those days.  the girls snuck out
 after midnight on day 2. no electricity so we evacked
to amanda's mom's then went for a walk on the golf course
where there was another hole in one on the ninth tee.
we didn't worry about water, it was just the electric
and just in some hoods. it was headed for tampa
but you swore you were the god of water and turned it inland
where it could devastate your dad's town instead of ours.


there were times i believe you still. and you called twice tonight.
maybe i need you to turn this storm away and maybe you're still
crazy enough to do it. go ahead, try. we're all still here, in the middle
of global warming. all of those you loved and lived with until
you had to move on and fall in love with someone new.

i still have room in my backseat for several baskets and all my portable boxes.
i fully expect to come back to nothing. you fully expect it to be standing.
tell me, scorpio, how many times do you have be stung to quit
sitting on your pincers? move, dammit. the storm waits for no one.



























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paper towels, cloth towels, sponges, shovel, rake, broom, garbage bags,bleach cleaning supplies, all the things the relief center says they don't have enough of, toothpaste, soap, washcloths, toilet paper if you find a working one, don't flush for yellow but if it's brown ...i don't know the etiquette of post hurricane devastation i mean is it polite to approach someone for a NO. DO NOT APPROACH ANYONE . if you do, hold your hand out and let them sniff it first. then politely ask for what you need. be ready to barter. if you have nothing else, sex is a good substitute. of course, you want to make sure there are no guns. i keep thinking about guns. we are not an open carry state, but we sure do want to let you stand your ground.



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so far i've picked 2 journals, the trouble with being born and the dispossessed. i want to take poetry but the outlaw bible is too big. as is the chinaski i have. no question though, lineberger gets a seat under the front seat. the secret life of water might be a good un. also anne. watts.. oh and that one book of my mothers, tattered tho it may be. i hope to see lili again. she's off with mom who's way out in wesley chapel, as is r ight. we put her lego dolls, dollhouse and car in a plastic gallon bag.she  also took the last of the rice and gravy, 2 chicken legs and the cookies we made earlier.

the wind is picking up. if you weren't here i'd open the windows for the hurricane to air out the house. if i didn't live in the first little piggy's place i'd fill the tub and the washer and be ready to watch the curtains fly. instead i'm chosing which memories to keep. there are printouts of old work, some mine, some yours. i don't want to drag them along. maybe this is the time to let that be. the letters i've moved since the seventies are still in my closet in a burlap bag. do they stay or do they go? the thank you for pot smoking pin and the anarchy symbol pencil sketch given to us by a street artist, the Tommy pin i got from the theatre i worked in as a senior in high school-none of these are big and they pretty much define where i came from but have little to do with who i am today. well, ok, the thank you button is still valid. the anthology with my print poem? the small bottle i got from a vancouver bookstore? jorie graham? none of these books will be replaced if lost. how to chose? pretty sure that's one of the reasons you just lay in bed all day, smoking one after another. too many things to save. the way you rebuilt even just a little bit and the way it can all be wiped out in a single day it will still be here, you insist. you insist that you are psychic. and i'll buy that. barely, but i've seen proof. only, you don't know that you're psychic, can't really prove if scientifically so it's just something you say as a knockoff around coincidences that happen just a bit too often. still, i'm not having an affair so put that in your crystal ball and decode it.



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