cutting limes by candlelight

 so there was a hurricane through my

dad's and sister's places tho it was sposed

to be coming thru my hood.  dint.

i was thinking

of playing the lottery on 02 22

or maybe 20 2022 but i believe

all the good luck coming my way

was used 

on the storm. i don't mind.

a tuxedo cat comes up on my porch

while my cats are hanging with me.

marmalade growls. i tell tux to leave but

he's stubborn. i like him too. but he just rude

picks fights with the torti, harshes the buzz 

playing on the smoke and water. where's my water?

every thought is thwarted sensation

emil is correct. my sensations

are shortness of breath and burning

in my shoulders. my hips. my gut.

selah, take another drag.

my sister got a dog so she don't need me anymore.

i wanted to ask her if we are still coming to NC

on my birtday but prolly not. might as well be prepared now

for that eventuality. 

so i was thinking about writing and how

it needs a voice or i was thinking about voice

and how it needs an ear and i was thinking

of irrellevancy and how it's here, thinking 

of writing to someone, dear , that may hear

this thinking out loud thru cypher and beer.

have one. i don't mind/ 

so if a tree falls

annd no one hears it

and no one ever finds its skeletal

remains, stripped of leaves, bark melting

in a crumble of dust ants carry off the sap

if no it is not heaerd

did it leve? of course it did.

object permanence/impermanance is the same thing

photons of dead trees, discover, are proof of those

that fell silent from human consciousness but there's 

so much more than our puny ears.

listen. there's a hum lies under it all

and here we are wobblingg a tightrope

thru space. wheeeeeeeeeeeeee

the thrill of it when i am not the trampled ant.

a rube goldberg machine without end. 

the sound of the captured bird, mimicing 

the insta notification on my phone. scramble

to acknowledge. the boys will be coming home soon.

and i don't wanna deal though the sudafed

and weed have done trixied my head into 

don't give a damness on the pain.

no gain in lying in bed when you're not sleeping.

i'm just so fucking tired. it might been ok 

to go home with ian. i don't know.