dayum!

never go into the tarot without a question
cuz if the answer comes up like this
it could blow your mind. i just spent 15 minutes and five lifetimes
thinking of the possible permutations of that reading.

1) me n the ex bf
2) me n the new bf
3) the case in court tomorrow
4) me n no boyfriends
5) travelling with many different bf. i give good conversation.

they call me bad. maybe i am. but only on paper.
i'm really quite a mouse inside.

anyway you look at all those questions i'm still fucked.
lol. metaphorically.

a. i take care of myself
b. and my son
c. and my job
d. so kind sir your offer of help is greatly
appreciated and yes, accepted.
e. a girl comes to depend on the kindness of
you- can- keep- a -stranger- at- arm's-lengths.
f. when you let someone in, they want something from you.
g. i have nothing left to give.
h. i'm sure you'd settle for sex.
i. but i'm not paying.



&


hello manequin child of laurel's blog. i finally got to see
some of your stuff. such a mayfly you can be. i'm still
unpacking from my vacation. i've lost several other minds
since then. i remember a dark room and benedictine.
i have excuses but no sorrow. i have mishandled cheques
and voyages in versage. things are going along with time
and my personal yom kippur looms. perhaps you can see
how a thing like a book might become binding for one
such as me. but a letter, a missive, a nod? i claim paralysis
of the will. i claim a judgment against what i was
and what i'll be. i claim sorrow and no excuses. a dark
desert hiway, tunneling beneath my sense of propriety.
i don't know why i write to you this way, except sometimes
i think only you can know exactly what i mean
and call me on it.