apres les screams

 it's not munchian

what we did that night. it was 

however, to be expected. you don't

bite the hand over and over .

i found a peacock

feather while cleaning the shit the cats left this week.

i don't know what to do about them. i let shadow

 in when i 

got home and she straight ass went over and shit

right beside honey while he was on a zoom.  like

she waited outside where she knows 

we want her to go aaaaall day

then sweetly mewed at me as i let her in

none of her usual skittish get

out of the way so i can slink in the open

door, no, she waltzed in , took a look at the dry food

in the bowls and walked by. sometime later while i 

had a cigarette watching the sun set, honey comes out

says you know what that bitch did? so that forced

me to clean up over by the drumset we stuffed in the corner

when the kids moved in for three months, 

and i found multiple piles lof defecation left

 over the week they've been gone so it's time

to throw that rug out as well as pull out  all the broken

 peacock feathers i collected from a birdish lover in absentia

over a period of six to eight months a few years back. each day i'd

roam the backyard at work looking for the place

the wild cock that lived next the pond a few properties over

would come over the fence at night. i don't know what he 

was looking for but every few days there would be

a feather or two caught in the fence 

till one day i happened upon a mother load, scattered

in a swatch under the  oaks, pin feathers, supporting feathers,

half eyes, whole eyes, you could tell that was one gone bird. \

these feathers are in a fluted italian blown glass floor vase

purchased from the dearly departed pier one, banned 

to the furthest corner of the room, behind a bass, two snares,

a tom or two and a throne

 so that hopefully 

the grandson cannot get to them anymore. well he's gone

now but i mean when they lived here. the vase is one 

thing saved from her unsavory, neglectful parenting i have 

to let you know that i tried, i really did. i just couldn't. 

as soon as i was exposed to her i would begin to smoulder

like a toxic fire burning in a dump, i think she felt the same. 

it's hard to live with someone you think their choices,

every single one of them from 18 up

have been the hard ones, the ones you wouldn't

make and you try to guide and you try to ignore

and you try to live and let while your house is turned 

upside,  and your memories are daily trashed

by a two year old who needs more guidance

than an 11 year old in long distance schooling

can possibly give   because

it wasn't mom's turn to watch her fucking child

then i think i was justified in calling her 

a shit mom as i threw the food she'd

just gone to wendy's to purchase at 9 pm

even tho they are always broke and there's chicken

to cook been thawing in the fridge for 2 days now.