is rats all there is ?

one night we had a sister thing
you were going into one guest
bedroom and i into another

is this all there is? your face
disappointed in god , a child
with  nothing from santa. dad
didn't prepare us very well
did he? i suppose he did his best
i countered, surprised to be his defense.
but i had grandkids then, you didn't
know what they bring to age, i assured
you that one day they would make it
all seem bright again. i didn't realize
that, too, doesn't last . babies grow up.

the grands is not a chance to do over.
the grands is a chance to encounter what you missed
when you were busy being responsible
an intimate player in the game first string.
the grands sit on the sidelines, clapping
or booing, giving no good advice, irrelevant
except for the check. check that, we all need
help at one time or another but that's
something you didn't know before you were here.


i would address the really bad grands
but they're trying a do over.  when mine
had hers i told her she's yours. raise her.
then stepped on her toes while she lived
here because honestly she neglected that babe
out of depression and it broke my heart.
the grands shouldn't have to watch that
in silence. if it's my roof, it's my rules,
even for your kid. my attitude hasn't changed much.