no winners

when there's a fight i know the winner
won't be found because to do that is to lose.

don't stress me out so much about
making a decision on the car i have to buy.
i have to buy it. and i can't. i just can't
make a mistake again but i'll keep paying
for a rental every week.

yeh, how's that working out for you?
  it's not so much that, even though
all but one of the past 2 months of weekends
has been spent on looking for talking about
looking and looking and looking for this car
you think will materialize somehow-
the perfect car for the best price-
than it is your response of why should i care
when your kids keep it messy all the time
the other night when i insulted you about
your ocd scattering ways, how you cover
every clean surface with your stuff and how
it looks like perhaps your daughter won't
share in this syndrome since she's worried
about her stuff still being packed up
and her apt all out of wack while she's
on a week's bedrest- a repsonse that left
me shaking in anger and just now able
to articulate why: that attitude feels so much
like every teenager that ever existed
and you , my love, are in your fifties
and does that mean that you are
not going to change back
into how you acted
when first met
and seemed
to be
mature.

does it? i just know that silence
at this point is my only option
with a few non committal huhs
thrown in so you won't catch on
that i'm biting my tongue to wait
until you purchase a car with the credit
i am going to extend to you
so that i can voice my displeasure
during a less stressful time
which surely will come
some day lord, we pray.
.