ego loss seminar

when it was you and i, dependent
on steel and power saws, undersides
of bridges, the seeping sea, when
it was us, i never thought otherwise.

streaks across the sky at sunset-
turning north in an arc that brought
us together through poisoned contrails-
were not binding thread after all.

we left the mending up to others,
a separate bargain made
with ourself before sirens chimed
the hour of departure. we left.

then it was all of us, you and i
caught in leavetaking, snared by a bauble
gritty in the night sky. we still haven't gone
despite the organs of intent- heart, spleen, kidney-

despite  announcements , caught
in memories rancid as meat. space. time.
you can't pay enough if you don't want to know
and if you do want to know, money is least. least.

so give it up, sweetheart. give in and give up.
that's what they tell us god wants. your ego.
to add to all the others we've collected
over these many many kalpas and then forget.