not everything i write is about you

but this one is.

you talk of putting dead
love in a box, burying it
maybe, like a goldfish or
a hamster, waiting until
you're brave enough to pull it out
again. so let's take a time
travel and open it now, see what it
looks like, those tiny bones, traces
of scales, patches of fur,
little empty skull, flesh gone
to dust. you think love
will fare any better?
out of the light, out of air you bury
it alive, because love doesn't die
it transforms. and mine for you
is, i hope, transforming to
indifference. as long as i don't touch
you, i'm safe. and you make that very
easy since this box is dark, no holes
no com device, scotty scotty can u beam me
a way out of this thing, did he bury it
in the ground too, omg i think i'm suffocating i
want to know why you didn't just
kill me too?
































)(***



it's so dark in here
but worse is when you
push me around, move me
from one place to the next
open the lid and peek in.
the light is blinding, please
turn it off. oh don't
please don't stick your finger
in here can't you see the skin
can't take another jolt? just
let me sleep and forget
the way sky tastes.





























()**)






what's in this box, dad?
hmm, i don't know. let me have a peek.
it's stuck tight, what could it be?
you know you have so much junk dad
why didn't you ever throw anything out?
oh, i wanted you boys to have these things
for your kids. here, give me that knife.
no, i'll do it dad, i don't want you to cut
yourself. oh!
what?
um, i think this should probably
go in the trash...
what?

what? let me look.


oh. this. yes, it was something i meant
to take out but i got preoccupied
and packed it away, then forgot i had it.

but dad, why would you save ...is it... a.... heart?
why would you put a heart in a box?

well, it was still beating when i put it in there.
i thought it would be useful. heh. funny how
i never needed it. isn't that the way it goes tho.
i bet if i'd thrown it out, i'd have needed it.
huh, she was wrong. i did just fine without it.

who was wrong dad?

what?

who is she?

did i say she? i guess it was. yeah
i remember now, she didn't have enough
patience.