battlelost

today i stop fighting it
the hopelessness
of the situation.

fa real, deal.
your life and mine diverge
here and now.
can you feel me break
the threads of it?

oh it'll hurt a bit a first
but eventually we'll both
get over it.

i'm done waiting for you
i'm done. in. it does no good
for either of us to wait.

for what? old age to crepe me out
new age to fold you in

yes, i'll have my meds
and you can get yours
in yr daddy's liquor cabinet.

over and over you say
this was not meant to be.
that's what i've been saying.
if our words say the same thing
a referent is indifferent.

it happened b/c it was inevitable.
landslide on the overbuilt hill.
avalanche delicately built
for entombment, cold and final.

dig me up in ten thousand
years. my heart will be the only thing
rotted. and what did i need
that for anyway? a petri dish
will build me a new one.


oh diana you are one sly bitch.
the arrow bleeds, not the wound
wound round my delicate sound--
elephants could be more distancing.

so the recovery begins
in the aftermath of a funeral.
the five stages are mounted
the eightfold scenes as backdrop.


every thought
a whart of sensation, a wharf
of migration a movement
past our past. now there's no more
our. how quickly we forget
when we smoke the mean green.


i cannot let you go there again
inside what i hold most holy.
the zing zing chattering abatement.
the upanishad's last desire.

watch you enter me.
i cannot stop you either.
so the world stops
and we get off.














***

the other mind



greedy to suck
you in. purity
and claire. the light
in your eyes. if i say
it enough times
will it change into reality?

might as well love the wind.
and i do. i love it all
a vast well of next!

you drain me. a vortex of love.
i want to be caught there forever.
we know all about that fairy tale now
don't we? the optomist
sprays vaseline on the lenz.
the pissimist springs and leaves its scent
acrid as a cat's. my apt moulders
and my mind is clearly
not my own. time to take this ship
and beach it. wake the gris
and leech it. straddle the pass
and let you love me as long as you feel
you can. you told me about your weaknesses.

i think it's time you gave into them.
however, i'm not going to wait.
if love is meant, it will be.
if not, we cling to the shreds, bloody
decrepit and stupidly.
see it come apart in our words?