tyme

20 months is not
an insignificant amount
of time, she assures , i think
he will not leave

chlorotoxins mingle
with plasma, errupt pustuling
into the brain tumor
extract a good sized hole
and settle in. the stinger
is a cock which won't cum
a hammer which won't soften
symbionic pain pulses "alive".















(0
everytime i close my eyes
your head between
my legs i see you in the pool
with her, buried in strange
and the lapping water , your
tounge,
her moving hips thrown back
head nipples hard in the harsh
blue green light. i wanted
to be be them all but it would
require too much makeup.
stars peering softly november fall.
i should have made you leave anyway
i listened to your vodka and money
retributive on a gray dawn. still i won't
open
my eyes to the light circling
now ravenous for a body
to illuminate. the
plane was yours you
should have been
gone
your universe contained in a driver's license
lost under the eaves of stairs
going one way.















so what if i
just say ok. fuck it.
i won't love you. just live with me
help me pay
my bills
fuck me every once
in a while
cuz i need that
and you, you're helped too
aren't you?
aren't you?

what's wrong with that i ask diana
and diana sez
nuthin baby cept you're the one
who keeps paying.


o yezzzzz o yaz o yezzssssssssssssssssssssss

















&^]]

and then my other crush
the erstwhile crush
and how he is such a stoopid man
who loves the world
and is no doubt too brilliant
to be with me.
this is the problem. low
self esteem. i know tho if you left
i could
should i want
find such a man as you
only with more money
-smrikel- one who would be
happy to take
care
of me. yikes. what am i
thinking? i think i'm very
very tired.