dear

asta mi amour


let you go. yeah. that's
what i need to do. i don't
dream about you when i sleep
but when i wake i miss
your arms. we were an impossiblity
existing for a moment.
not even that long
in the grand scheme. but im not
concerned with the grand.



what can a man know
of a woman?


and what is it i could hope for
from an rekindling? one day
you'll be like fdostov
and that makes me sad but
it's inevitable. tigers
and their stripes.


dear ju
you know i love you.
have loved you since you
told me how you could love
you didn't know it was
a deception you play
on yourself. i didn't wanna
do it. but you made me.
love you.
now i have to scrape you
from my veins. little
fatty deposits of the things
we had together. laughter
and all that....

i should hold on this time
to the painful stuff. the pissy
stuff. the stuff you ignored
and so led us to this berm.
splatterd

i love you.
stay away, i'll get
over it. i've done it
before. now i'm ready
to just exist
without that possiblity.
i thought d was my last
but it was you. you used
it up. why then this
burning inside? it's
greed for what i cannot
have. pity. yes
that's what it is.
i need to have a life
without pity for anyone
outside my circle.

that's how they survive.
that's how i'll survive.
thnx
l

pds

the tarot confirms it.
as it always does. it's not
that i think i can interpret
the answers so fully
but if you think you can
ignore them, you are the fool.

what it said was the project
was inspired by the ideal of lovers
but our vanity and inconsideration
the very stages of our life
serve to make it fail.

it keeps coming out the same.
ya know? soooo. i wonder what it would
say if i put some name i didn't know
in there?

there is no name i do not
associate with someone.

yeah, what it sez is
this is futile. what you see
is how it is. wrecklessness
is not the way.

maybe when i read it later
it will make a different sense.
but now, it's pretty implicit
in the cards. it is what it is.
is there a future?
lemme ask...lol

ok it sez no
looka this




The card represents the critical factor for the issue at hand. The Moon: Cyclic transformation covering the mysterious forces of the night. Feminine beauty and the intoxicating vitality of youth. The metamorphosis from beauty to beast and vice versa. Occult forces, sensitivities and intense dreams. Dangerous situations and perilous times

heh,
sounds a lot like lyfe, yes?
why don't we avoid that?
i know i want to.

i love you but i let you go.
i don't want to try to make
something of us. it's the wrong
dimension. that i wil miss you
is unavoidable. there is still
some hope in me, but i'm sure
you can help dispell that.
just keep acting as you have
always been. that should do it.


is there anyway to avoid
these plutonian waves is what
i ask i t next.

it tells me patience.
it tells me look at the truth
of the situation
perilous, fey, ultimately
destructive. it tells me
i must be patient. do not
call love into being now.
it is not the time.
if i try it again now
it will fail miserably
like before. look to your
children. yes.

yes.

no more protests of love.
we will always have it
in our memory. pick out the worst
and cling to them
or pick out the best
and relive them, with your next lover.
read the tarot. you remember
how it goes?