disappointing the universe

so it's the second day you call in sick
but you're only sick
in the head. i've seen your head
do that now for four years
or i could say every god damn
lover i've had. i always pick the sick.
is it so i'll have something to write about
instead of the cowish existence i
seem to live? i dunno but it
disintegrates as we live it.

so what is about the scorpio male or rather
those scorps i've k nown, born in octoboer
that makes them self sabotage. or is that
just because they meet me? or is that i pick
that i know it, it resonates with my body
ad makes me feel good until it saps
all my strength and leaves me fighting
for a way out. i can't deal  anymore, love

is this why you're always leaving?


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


\







in the sky, smoky full moon.


we drive sheldon road, past
the row of untaxed church land -
i follow the lexus' tail lights-
and the smell of burnt wood and there

you are, huddled in front of our
smouldering apartment
i dry your tears again, promise it's nothing
we can't work through but you disappear

like a piece of thread moving through cloth
to re emerge in this carnation
lodged in my lapel , dead, dried
giving the appearance of almost fresh.

when i hit home with you
you go on the attack. it is not
my desire to bite back since
i bit first. but no. no
no, you narcissitic mf, sorry that
the groans from the flu patient woke you.
i forgot to close the door.
you could have, of course,
but that would be to much like
well, i dunno, helping yourself?

like i tried to do last night till you took the covers
i had inexpertly piled upon myself when i went
one eighty to my prior position. it was an overreaction.
have i said i'm sorry yet? no i've defended my position.
it was an over reaction. i'm sorr.y. i was tired. am .
am tired. weary to my bones.
and this game we've played so long
love, this game, bow and arrow.
leave it.

































OPPIP

to other girls to play.


so tired.