psylids are bacterium transport eating machines

what if aliens in the form of bacteria
have already invaded the earth and they're using
these really strange looking biological machines
that mimic already existing insects
to perpetuate alien warfare on the  human race by
making all of our fruits and vegetables inedible
what if it's not aliens, what if it's some crazy jihadist
cia talibinista onward christian soldier revelationist group
that's so far advanced we're like roaches they enjoy
crunching underfoot. what if the bacteria are like power rangers
and once they've established their footholds in the various crops
they'll put their rings together and form a more complex
organism that will finish the kill. then they'll asexually multiply
and fill the earth, how's that for a meek inheritance?