because you're a masochist he said

slowly the story is revealed, not in shades of grey
but reds. the whites of his eyes, the volume of his voice
the heart ripped down the middle or with an arrow through it.
she just waits for the tear to be complete. dear abby
it might begin i've met a wonderful man we get along great
all the stars are aligned, we ease each other's pain there's
just this one small problem we've been fighting over lately
and this morning he stuck his finger in my mouth and forced me to bite it.
i held out, not biting as hard as i wanted to while he yelled
obscenities and afterwards his hands were clenched two inches
from my neck do you think this means he might
be one of those people who will snap and carry out the murder suicide plan
we always promised each other if one of us was terminal?

















^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

brick a brack attack. it was fun being out of reality
for a while, thinking nice things
were mine to enjoy, not fretting about
someone else's illness, not indulging my own.
but he knew me well enough
to say it early on this time around
just so he could say i told you so when
the cuts got steadier, more potent,
when the bleeding out begins.
hah, i showed him. unfriended him
before the crucial moment.now he can guess
right along with all the other fb friends. but he
stopped caring so long ago it's not even
a viable memory anymore, that feeling
we shared so anyway, funny that's what he remembers.














*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*











i will not walk on eggshells. write it fifty times.
i'm stomping those motherfuckers into grits
you can kneel in while begging my forgiveness
or walking out of life. i have bitchslapped more than one
sulfurous relationship out my door
and if that time comes beware the masochist flip.
i prefer to believe, for the nonce, in sanity.















*)(*

so i proceed with more caution
as i note that slowly you reveal
the other side of that fiber optic
bifurcation into the past. you stuck
your finger in her face, most probably
in her mouth. she left her husband
and moved to your city and you
stayed married. you lost your job
she supported you . that killed it
even if she didn't care about money.
you have no idea how to be a slave
and you don't want me to show you
you just want me to keep at it
so you don't have to. i can't fathom
the privilege you men apply
to your selves i was raised
a woman and god damn
the repo man.

i hear there are good men out there.
i think i've met a few. just
none of them were ever  my lover






























&^%%


which leans me to the ampersandly obvious
conclusion. i do not know a thing
about how to be in a good relationship
or what to look for in a man. like ms bitch
told me long ago, you're fucking up
chasing that cock. it wants to chase you.
it's funny, though i feel i was born in the wrong era
i never felt i was born in the wrong skin.