figure in a mirror box

when the world was wide
as a windowed glade
she climbs into daddy's old blue ford
truck , yells gramma, gramma gramma
who is trying to talk to the boyman
about why his phone is missing:?
and why the jobsearch is on hold?
and who will pay for the keyboard with coke
spilled on it, the baby daddy? right?
meanwhile you sleep unaware of the things
you may have done to enter the secret passage
into kowloon city. feather comforter warm
you buy time with the landlady who does not want
to evict you but sees that this is the only thing
that will get you gone.  the dank passageways
  smell of fried wonton, vinegar and miso.
you have one or two centimes saved
perhaps if you throw her a bone...





gramma gramma gramma
she calls. so happy to see me
when i come home from work
the house is full
but i'm the one she loves.
  i don't cherish it
 because she lives here.
i don't cherish it because
she  isn't mine
to cherish as i have before
would kill me when she leaves. does that mean
my heart has at last gone hard?

i am saddened by the way her mom
chooses to raise her. no worse than mine
i suppose.but  i dont remember parking  her at the tv
too  busy with something else.  not at three. at three
i was enchanted with the girl, slathered my time on her
those scant hours after work: bathtime, story
 time, cooking time, help me with the laundry time

but that's not
 what she remembers. i wasn't there
 all day
now she isn't there
all day
with her own,
  though her body sprawls
across the couch, facebooking
  trash carpets the floor
dishes distill in the sink
  snarls foul the air.















*(*(*



gramma will you play with me?
i should get the dolls and play with me.
tomorrow. she'll be gone soon
enough. springs will erupt. new caves
exposed, price and waterhouse ratings
on the refi. ftbt but not atm.
let's speak some txt, lili bear.
that's the thing coming your way

graaaaamaaa, grama grama, ima stomp your car.
can i play in you car gramma?
no,
but i wanna play in you car, please?
 you might release the brake
and let the car go rollin out into the street.
play in this car.  lay back
find the moon, playin hide and seek
with the clouds, i'm talkin to your uncle
so you gotta be quiet. now

just how did your phone get stolen?
so yeah these dudes
were sposed to be gettin us weed
or drugs or something do to with kyle
i dunno he was payin me to drive him
and the dude kept asking for a phone
to call his dealer so i  finally said here i gotta phone
and we drove over to the place
i forgot to get my phone from him till he got outta the car
then i asked him but he was like
i don't have it man
and then he and the other dude walked into
the house with my phone and kyles money
and never came back. so yeah, we like, got fucked.
kyle feels bad, gonna pay me for the phone when
he gets money but .

right. when. will you stop.
doing business with drug dealers?
you got insurance.
deductables 100 bux
good thing you saved that money.
you need a phone to call corporate and get your last paycheck.
that was your bad.















(*)*)*\


yeh so tomorrow we play li'l girl.
time enough to grow up
after im gone.

lol.

maybe i am writing more about death now,
i dunno. feels like that would be a respite somehow.