stuck on pg 327

i've been reading the same  5 paragraphs
from foucault for a week now. eliminate
categories and confront the boundless
stupidity of existence.


you ask me to clarify the statement
we are all one with infinite variation
so i try to phrase it differently

i just confuse you more
until you realise i'm smoking.
then it all makes sense.

at this point in the ongoing con
i am bored. so bored i answer again,
better to confront stupidity
with thought than succumb
to the categories you place me in.



you're satisfied that we're not meant to know
  you're not playing the not know game.
wish i had that hammer for my own mind.












*(&&






the lady slippers
which died in the summer drought
have sprung up in mild weather.
i want them to survive so i place
the water hose above them
and let it dribble into the sand.
i hope the association
doesn't name them weeds


talked film with a british trader
yesterday. almost mentioned
the programmer but don't want
to know if there are any
degrees of connection there.
mystery has its attractions.







*(&




stopped having sex a few weeks ago.
the whole fwb thing wasn't workin out for me.
after you, i realise that if i have regular sex
with someone, i'ma fall  in love. i want to
be there before
 i fuck him this time.
my body may have other plans
but i hope to scuttle them until
it forgets what that's all about.


the flesh is very demanding no wonder
the mystics   want to scourge it.
but hunger has a strong resonance.

so i return to the trough.
sometimes i pick at the fare
sometimes i place a morsel 
on my tounge and just as often
spit it back out.















*&


i want to be less controlling with my writing
therefore i  find myself exercising
extreme control. the irony of contradiction
is not lost here. perversity gods.












*







"hey, you havin any luck on this site?"
no, just talkin to you.

no need to be snarky bitch.













*(&





i'd like to become engaged
in the outside again. this vanity thing
makes me vapid. so what
if you don't think i'm hot?
so what if you do?
what i want to know is
what is going on in your head.

but i can't get past these pages
and i must. 





(pssst hey. just skip it.  
place your finger under
the leaf and flip it)