the light that's lost within us reaches the sky

--jackson browne

gotta love you tube , the  music arm
of the acaciac library. any song you want
you prolly got. unless you wrote it. even then
if you had, like, a video camera and the ambition
you could put that up. ahem, 2ybf.

so yeah, i tubed my teen infatuation.
i didn't have a bf in hs bc i was always in love
with a rock star. jackson browne is my, like so many other
ex virgins of my time,   ideal hunk. soooo sensitive!
soooooooo sad, so insightful, a poet! his wife killed herself!
he had a baby girl to raise! oh if i could only meet him!

tonight i watched him from a 2008
concert, brown hair
stark against a white old man
beard he looked
like he should be playin at open mic down the street
but he sounded like
jackson browne.

oh if only i could meet him.

snort. i'd prolly just stutter and stammer and blush.
still the skool grrrl crush.  i always thought we would be perfect

for  each other. no wonder\
no real man
will ever
satisfy me,

right?




*&^)]






no um. i don't think that's right.
he beat his wife they say, deflowered
half the girls in orange county by all accounts
a player i mean come ON, his wife killed herself.



doesn't that tell you something?













))&&&







right? so we all have some baggage.
as a fantasy   i show jb the picture
i found of the inside of a turtle flower
along with a graph representing
a mayfly's life cycle and a hologram of fireworks.

he mulls them over and writes a song.
even in my fantasy, it's
never recorded
it belongs only to us
and the pot gods.
but we do it at open mics.

let the pirates and the journalists
keep the records. we want to keep
the moment, always ending, hold
its brightness in our palms
and feel   wonder rise by and bye.