rehab

shortly before he left we watched
a lot of amy winehouse's videos.
she died the week before and i
wanted to show him her talent.

plus i'd never really seen the vids.
she has some rack
he said.
it's true, she did.

tonite i watched a 2008 documentary
about her life. at 12 she wanted to be famous.
i thought about you telling me
you wanted to be on the cover of the enquirer.
i thought how you might have met her
and saved her if'
you'd been born in the right place.
you certainly were in the right time.
and she's short enough.

damn. the gods are malicious.


but the paparazzi, the press.
the way they hound the famous.
just because. your life
is never private again.
you live in a strobed mansion.
do you really want that?
she dies in 5 years from it.













&*^





so yeah, the synchronicity of things.
love, the  losing game.
the osprey in the clouds with a fish
below the triune breaking things up.
i don't know if i can
forgive the remorse. and the sting.
at least i have time to write now
  just like old times.

the addiction is obsession.
the way she demands you love her
and always takes you back
until she's done with you.


amy always had her mask
to turn to. she had her privacy.
we know something happened
in that hotel room, the blood
and the cuts for you buggers
with the cameras.can't you see
the crowd frightens her
the way they all want  a piece
of her but she's his, his alone.
 she can't sing without him here.

but  that other guy
the first one
who broke her heart
that's who he hated.
she will never love him
like the first guy.


love is a losing game baby
she says. it's like heroin
you just can't get enough
to make up for the hole
the first one left. daddy,
daddy, why?


i'm glad he went back to her.
we always knew it would have to come.













&^*&^







i don't think i want to play anymore
so why do i keep goin back to the hood
looking for more?