tarot of the past/presented

he Cross and Triangle spread is a powerful means of understanding complex situations, developed by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. This spread is rich in occult and mystical symbolism






my significator is the ace of swords


the seed of victory is the prime energy manifest in my life. how do you win over love /why
would you even want to?

a challenge to be met with force! wtf. how do you force love?
again why would you want to. maybe it's telling me i'll overcome the need to think in these terms of me n anyone me n anything. or maybe it means to say
you think he's your last, but just stay positive
steady my little sailboat,
the waves haven't swamped you yet. here
take this sword and cut it up, cut it out already.

btw, i read that book. it was really little to do with love.
it was journey, a finding out the stuff he was made of.









































The second card, placed above the significator, represents Air. It describes your spirit, process of thought, and the influence of reason.


while i ponder how my swift reasoning will enhance
this victory , let me have a cuppa. the wondrous coffee wands
eight of them

turn the java into water from the fountain
of tartuffe, an misanthropic voyage into all the luvtunnels
i've travelled and all that present themselves before me.
i'm with alceste when he admits that love doesn't listen
to reason. so far , this reading seems bogus. unless
i want to take the tack of how i need to overcome the need
with reason. as if. uh huh. doesn't this thing realize i'm
a disciple of cioran who wrote 'every thought is thwarted sensation'. still i write. still i think.where's the sense in that?

































page of pentacles for my fire. motivation ,passion for what?
earth, mountains, getting the work done, cuz that's
what i'm training for, movement into the pragmatic. oh
i am not liking this at all, it keeps telling me to focus
focus on some kind of ....product? a book a child a way to be
less fucked up? well whatev, i'm sposed to be surprised by it
so i won't let on you told me.

you want embraces? embrace hard work and studiousness

bitch.























































ahhhh cool cool water. the essence of emotion, the beacon
of love, mine's become all misty. kings envy the moor
i inhabit caught in this sky between one thing and another
forming and reforming on the cusp between pure water
and pure air.


the wonder bra and my breasts make a rewarding
partnership, i love the way it leads
eyes to what's left of my youth
introduces the power of the universe into everyday
conversation, the fuel of the world going round
and me in my cups, a bit tipsy yet what with the stilletto
bargaining i've done on the side.

i'm putting on the mountain mask, extra hold
for endless patience and maturity. the aarp membership
is in the mail. i'll reward your partnership and raise you a leader.
in fact, you be the decider. or wait a minute
you be the decider.





















zo yeah i'm all excited about this leader thing. bring me
my two wands zelda so i don't have to ever be stickless--
this victory coming, this material world now that i'm
changing into a material girl. oh . yeah, oops that's right.
i keep wanting dinner. this reading is my comuppance
reminding me of that scene i've been playing
where she stands in the kitchen at the sink. he
is behind her, trying to hug her but she's all pissed
that he ate the leftover steak from which today's lunch
was to be obtained. she can't stop ranting. she's
afraid of giving becz she knows he'll just keep taking, mewling
like a kitten and just as innocent. look at those lashes.
he bites her shoulder she turns and pushes him
away , makes him look into her eyes says 'do you realize
the things i'm giving up for you? and he's all like but
i'm giving things up too, there's just as much chance you'll
die as me leaving you. she stops , does the math. wrong
and on top of that when we're split you
will be able to love again. and he doesn't say anything
so as not to hasten this end. but it doesn't work.
next day, next week, next month next year
she's kicking him out.
thorns always hurt when they embed themselves.
she may never again pluck a rose.
















and now we form the triangle.
the menage a trois of lines
balanced upon each other
the opposing forces of bouyancy and drown
an equilateral velocity with distance
measured in millimeters from the sit on it and rotate
solvent molecules waving hare krishna from stateside.



like this






vs











i can be water like fire. a river rushing thru it
snow melted and engorged on my way to the sea
or i can be justice, swift, merciless, with my own
def of right and wrong delivered with
apparently some of those swords and staves i got.
beat luv into submission
o yeh.

omg.

or was that beat it out and don't submit?












always the procrastinator i fall asleep
and complete this in the morning.
meantime my dreams show me faces i reject
situations i passed by























i can reconcile these forces if i
meditate on the world. if i luv the world
in place of one







or











i can keep goin this way, surrounded by all this beauty
luxury & luv but ignore\wallow in what's absent.

o the void.






































lol






































ok tyme for a new reading, it's a new day