homeless

in my mind i've placed you as my missing
puzzle piece. you don't quite fit
there's edges crennelated like angel wings
on sugar cookies. jacob & i baked some
last night. this morning they are stiff
enough to dunk in strong espresso
french vanilla non dairy creamer
colors the bitterness pecan or halle berry.


i've been on this search for a man
i could place my love into.
i realized all along that this was a futile gesture.

yet i had to do it. perhaps to simply prove
to myself that i would be able to love a man again.
that this torn and pumping ligament
still functions. i think i've found him in you
but perhaps all i've found is the ability
to love myself enough to trust what we have
when we have it. i feel at peace today. i know
you won't call. doubt you think much
doubt you think at all
about me. it's not time to think about me.

still, i wish that you would. i place thoughts
in your head, dream of you as if i had the power
to conjure there beside you in your bed with my strangers.


i tried to go out with 4 other guys
since i met you. they all fell thru
and i was thankful .
another knocks at my IM. i close the window.


perhaps the wind's stopped waving at me.
perhaps desire can be sublimated into the push of air
rising in a funnel, keeping the the wing's arc steady
in a gyration spoken by chicken hawk.

they are such ugly cumbersome birds
when they aren't skyborne
and in the evening, when the sky shoots
the sun into a broken prism
i look up, and find them circling
and circling still, on the thin gray edge
of the evening, as if they don't need a roost
against the coming darkness.