dams and other lake makers

it's kinda rough
in a patchy way
how living with you now
calls back those years
we believed in something
greater than the power of need.

i mean my memories are sposed to be sacred.
heh. i only write this here cuz i know
you were never interested in visiting.

but it's difficult at best
for me to have those memories destroyed
each time you lie
with your face on the same pillows
we were lovers' beliefs clothed
in this our flesh. it is the time of dread
and prophecy and i had hoped to miss living it.


once, what i'd hoped,even, was some poetry, some leaps.
but i guess one can't stay airborne forever
and the side one lands on depends on one's
placement on the hill, yes? after all
wormholes are things of the mind and no one really wants to fall
into their future before it comes.

so when i love you more than i love me
it's actually easier to be in the same room.
do no harm. put the cracked bottle into
the cracked china cab, fold the poems into
neat squares and arrange them in the chiffarobe.
eternity of a mayfly love.




too bad i'm human. i could have appreciated that a bit more.
i just would like to get the sandspurs out of the yard
once and for all. they spread into metaphors, pop up
under rain and sun, hide themselves in bahaia lashes
and the curve of a belt, how ya doing? you ask
peachy i say. yourself?

i make a new rule, effective three seconds from now.
when you walk into my room, i get to ask any question i want.
one
























































two





























































three





























why are buying straight edge razors
and gauze and tape? why is your smile
the rictus of a naughty beaten dog?



le petite suicide? the almost but not quite?
nothing's changed since before we met.
the past might as well not have happened
you might have spent the past
in an asylum of your choosing
this time. or wait.
did it chose you?


you can thank the gods
or fate, destiny's li'l pinball
the shake of the machine
something threw us together
call it the god of need and gravity.

points clingling up on the counter.
what you fell out of with me
will happen everytime.
it is the way of the flower.
it is the flight of the bee.

i think i've learned something from it.
keep to your kind. i don't know
what you made of it. i think you need
to bleed a few more lives away
before you get that.

i should get over myself. learn to love
like the rest of the world. like i've
never loved before. i can maybe do that.
but you'll have to put those eyes somewhere else.
they remind me too much of someone i used to fuck.