what the sunray meant

it's so quiet now,
the electronic bird whips
soundfully out of the speakers,
occasional wolf cries
in some virtual distance.

i feel the taste of flesh.
the rush of jet. you didn't enjoy
my little ditty, it was a love
thang totally unrelated
to antoher. when you talk with the wind
it doesn't echo you, it blows
things away. little breezed eddies
li'l currant filled pastries. i must
be hunger.

the faltering fushia afternoon
related to umber and other ocher choleras
i can't get beyond the feel of falling downstairs
on twited ankles, the stumbling fat
man somehow remains unscathed. it because
he's already a ghost?

last nite we talked of interaction
action, non action, anti action thru action.
my son says his father ends the stories
before they're told. he's brewing revenge
kidnapping, hostage situations
for missed opportunities, money owed.

what they both lose is beyond creditors.
i have a matchbook and a dimes for the dead.

when he becomes adult, how much of this
will stick with him? how will he carry
the ghosts of what we were?


my lover talks about his children.
the ones nascent, incipient in a future without me.
it makes time travel, and i'm 5 years or 20
into a future without him. he turns it says
you'll die before me. i think i will then
kill myself. this is the man with whom i
should have had children. but the cosmos continues
to play these fools for as long as we
remain happy in our delusion. he sleeps cuddled
into the feather blanket my first love bought.
he was good with the money cuz it was easier
to purchase things than to give love, but i was
fully in love. i remember how it felt each time
my lover looks at me like he trusts what i say
without concern at the degree of love. love is love is love.
right.















. i'm hungry. did i say that before?



black bean and yellow corn chips.
a granola bar. cuppa coffee. it's time
to wake the sleeping boys into what's left
of the day. the sun tells the truth, slant
like a poem. my head is heavy, my heart
a tiny succotash of bleating, feed me
i'll love you.